Cluttered and Scattered

I start this rambling with 15 minutes. A challenge by many friends and family to get back into writing. So, I sit, at my computer and I write. Unedited, this is what came out…

This is painful. My mind is flowing, rapids tumbling over rocks, swirling in whirlpools. What direction, how do I focus? The dog is barking, making me crazy. So many ideas, which one do I choose. When I start on one, the others seem more interesting. I can’t stay focused. Do I have an attention problem? No. I can focus on a movie, sit at my computer for hours, socializing with peeps I will never meet, slinging mindless dribble in every direction without guilt and satisfaction.

So how does one choose to write? Why do they write? I hear because the “have” to, but no one “has” to write any more than they have to eat pudding, or wear waffle stompers (remember those). It is a choice, a desire. The desire can be so strong, but it can’t replace the need for food, warmth, hope. These things we crave and need above all things. Especially hope. Without this essential ingredient a life seems less than a life. Questions of your purpose arise more often without satisfactory resolution.

We can makeshift our happiness by focusing on the pleasures of today, such as wealth, fleeting companionships or even food. But these indulgences are only temporary, and the void that we so desperately try to fill remains, burning a hole into our life, to the point of shear madness.

Which way do I turn? Why do I do the things I do? What is it I need out of life? That is key- Need over Want. Wants are fleeting, temporary satisfactions that are lost, broken or tossed as soon as their brightness dulls. Needs never fade. It is what makes us alive spiritually, mentally and physically. Needs are a requirement, the absolute necessity of a full life.

God supplies your needs, and many of these are our desires, our hopes, our wants. But only those which uplift, build and improve us. If we succeeded in obtaining all our wants, we would be in a far worse place than we are now. Trust. Trust He who is able to know what you need, even before you do.